You can rest assured that you are officially retarded when...
You ask your server to bring you a Beam & coke - she asks for your ID. She has checked it and is about to bring you your damn drink when you proceed to pull out a second ID (on this particular ID the name happens to be different - go figure) and ask her which one looks more like yourself.
On that note - you also know that you are a the biggest asswipe to ever grace 54th St with your presence when...
You stiff your poor server because she busted your ass on being the biggest moron to ever grace 54th St with your presence.
Hint: Asking your server which of your two fake ID's is more "buyable" is a fairly good guarantee that you are not going to get away with using either.
